One of the most liberating ideas I’ve come across over years of nurturing dreams is the notion that “both and” trumps “either or”.
In the World of Either Or, people with deep-seated, creative longings don’t allow themselves to dream – or if they do, they do so painfully, as unheeded calls and unfulfilled dreams remain mere wishes. While longing and discontent continue pointing to that SOMETHING yearning to come through and be realized – something with the potential to be great – the World of Either Or says, “EITHER you commit your life exclusively to the one practical path you know, OR you do that other thing at your peril.” It says, “EITHER conform, OR be doomed.” It’s a world of all-or-nothing thinking. No part-time… no wading in. Either you do it all at once, and perfectly, or not at all. It’s a world where, in the extreme, a single occupation can become a whole identity. Strapped in place, people find themselves on a journey of diversions, but no real detours. No off-ramps, side roads, or new terrain.
The World of Either Or is densely populated, and you can find it just about anywhere. It’s a busy place where people often feel over-extended, overly responsible, and tired.
Of course, you don’t embrace that world.
You desire something else, and so do I. We can create differently…
In the World of Both And, on the surface, things are no less busy. There are no fewer obligations and acts of service, yet life is often calm and joyful. With a mindset that says, “I can take care of myself and others, AND ALSO serve my dream,” and with a heart that knows, “I can be BOTH this AND that (and more), do BOTH this AND that (and more), and serve my dream now,” the world is a kinder, gentler place. Peace comes from a sense of living and working in harmony with a true calling.
In the World of Both And, creative people understand that we each can wear various hats and call ourselves by various titles. Life is an expansive adventure! We can change jobs along the way if we like – or not. We can decide to make even temporary changes to our way of life – do something new for a while, and come back re-newed. What others call “success,” we can question. What others call “failure,” we can call a stepping stone. We can choose. Along the way, we can derive income from various sources in service of a creatively fulfilling life that includes both loving and serving others, and doing what it takes to bring a Dream into reality.
I love these words of Henry David Thoreau, an exemplar of “Both And” living. As an author, poet, philosopher, naturalist, tax resister, development critic, caretaker, handyman, transcendentalist, abolitionist, surveyor, gardener, and historian, Thoreau was no stranger to dream-building. “I learned this, at least, by my experiment: that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, endeavoring to live the life he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.” In the World of Both And, we can choose to experiment. We can clearly define a Dream and take action for it; the calm and deep, still waters of Thoreau’s Walden Pond can become a state of mind.
External circumstances can be catalysts for change, yes, but they need not govern reality. “Common hours” thinking need not govern our Lives. The shift from one world to another is an inside job. And the keys to fully making and sustaining that shift are the focus of my upcoming blogs.
In the meantime, this week, I encourage you to treat YOUR Life as a beautiful experiment. Ask yourself, what would you LOVE? What step can YOU take in service of YOUR Dream? And yes, one tiny step is how it all starts. Take that step today.
