Ways of Being Free Part 2: Overcome this Pair of Pitfalls

Overcome this Pair of Pitfalls - view of a lake

In my coaching practice, I see two very common reasons why people get stuck in the dream-building process. Fall into one or both of these ruts, and you will keep the manifestation of your heart’s desires at a distance. That is why it’s important to recognize and overcome this pair of pitfalls.

Pitfall #1: Feeling Like You Don’t Deserve Your Dream

It’s one thing to say what you would love, and another to feel deserving of it. In fact, I’m not sure that I have ever met anyone who has not struggled to feel fully deserving of their dream.

I know I certainly have.

Feeling deserving of your desired vision is closely related to self-esteem, and I believe we all have room to grow in this area.

Here are a few fundamentals to help you overcome a lack of deserving:

Remember that you live in a universe of infinite abundance.

  • Connect with that sense of abundance by generating feelings of gratitude regularly throughout your day. Gratitude has its own frequency, much like a radio station. The more you tune to an expansive state of gratitude and take action from that state, the more you will be a vibrational match for the details in your dream to find you. This requires effort and practice. Being grateful is about much more than paying lip service; it’s about cultivating the ability to generate a highly calibrated emotional state – repeatedly.

Be willing to trade the old for the new.

  • Being deserving is NOT the same as being “entitled” – as in expecting something for nothing. Being deserving means that you are prepared to bring the best version of yourself forward. It means being willing to release aspects of the old you which no longer serve, and do the work of cultivating a new and highly beneficial set of beliefs and behaviours.

Identify with the belief that you came into this life to give your gifts.

  • Manifesting your dream is a way of doing just that. Ultimately, we are meant to bless and prosper one another. Remember that your ability to be all you can be, and to do all you can do, ultimately is a blessing for others.

I made this short video with further thoughts and a suggested practice. Of course, I am scratching the surface in a brief recording; there is much more I could advise on this subject. Yet, if you will take even ONE helpful step mindfully and repeatedly, that action has the power to move you up a mountain. As you rise, you see and experience things from a whole different vantage point.

Pitfall #2: Feeling Unable to Forgive

I hear this often, and certainly it is with compassion that I share on the pitfall of feeling unable to forgive. To varying degrees, we have all experienced what Shakespeare called the “slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.” Moreover, for individuals who have repeatedly endured abuse, betrayal, abandonment, and violation, being asked to forgive can feel akin to adding insult to injury.

And yet…

Using your powerful mental faculty of perception in order to reframe negative experiences is a way of shifting from victim energy to the energy of an empowered, conscious creator. It’s a way to claim your gifts from the darkness.

Please note that forgiving an unskillful human being is NOT the same as condoning an inexcusable behaviour.

When you forgive someone who has wronged you, you release yourself from the bondage of holding them prisoner in your mind. This way, you walk free.

While in some cases forgiveness can be very difficult, and may even seem impossible, I like to treat it as a daily practice, rather than as a one-time event. That way, I don’t have to do it perfectly; I can simply practise. In practising, I feel myself move in the direction of freedom.

Often when we practise forgiving others, we recognize deep down the need to forgive ourselves. This important insight has the power to liberate you.

Perhaps the best book I have ever read on this subject is I Can See Clearly Now by Wayne Dyer. Recently, I was asked to write about some of my favourite books, and I share this short piece with you in the hope that if you are struggling with forgiveness, Dyer’s memoir will serve as a beacon.

My Thoughts on Wayne Dyer’s I Can See Clearly Now

Photo credit: Holly Leaman via Unsplash

I read this book shortly after its 2014 release. I remember carrying it with me on my walks, pausing to read in city parks and cafés, because I didn’t want to put it down. For many years I have considered Wayne Dyer a mentor. I have read many of his books, listened repeatedly to his recorded talks, and in the past attended multiple live presentations at the Hay House I Can Do It conference in Toronto.

Somehow this book felt different to me from Dyer’s others. Maybe this was because intuitively the author knew it would be his last. There is such a clear and vital sense of purpose and finality in the writing. Perhaps the book resonated with me particularly because at the time I needed to receive its message.

Ultimately, I Can See Clearly Now is about the transformative power of forgiveness. It’s about our creative ability to revise our own personal history stories, even the bleakest of them, in order to recognize and claim our gifts.

I resonate deeply with Dyer’s unvarnished accounts of how he perceived his own past challenges as he lived them; I love the life-affirming power in his revised perceptions. The author writes from the vantage point of a spiritual being who has neared the end of a human life lived imperfectly, marvellously, and fully.


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